Across the Universe: Jaina and Jag Vignettes
by Mira-Terrik
Summary: A Collection of First Person Retrospects from Jaina and Jag!
1. Default Chapter

**Disclaimer: All things Star Wars belong to George Lucas. EU Characters belong to their respective authors. This story is just for fun!! No money is made off of this!! So ENJOY!!***  
  
**This series of Vignettes begin with snippets from my first online fanfic Interlude: A Jaina Solo and Jagged Fel Story and will continue with thoughts throughtout the novels.**  
  
BORLEIAS  
  
Why am I here?  
  
That is a question that has been plaguing me since the moment I left the Hapan Cluster and came here, to the planet Borleias. My original intent was to speak with Master Skywalker about the Yuuzhan Vong, to learn more about them so I could report back to my father with the findings. My second-in- command, Shawnkyr Nuruodo, is adamant that we send word back to the Unknown Regions although I feel that we still need more information about the enemy. The Yuuzhan Vong are a threat not only to the Known regions but to us as well. Many members of the Chiss parliament are blind to this or they simply do not comprehend the greater threat. I hope that our fact-finding mission will grant us answers that before we could not provide.  
  
I've had trouble sleeping tonight which is odd, considering the fact that I'm weary beyond words and can barely support myself. I came here, to the landing grid where my ship is berthed, to try and find a peace of mind before I finally lay down to rest. On a planet that is strange to me, surrounded by beings that I do not know, being near the Clawcraft gives me some comfort. Does that sound silly? I feel like an outsider here; the son of an Imperial General among a handful of veteran Rebel agents.  
  
The evening sky is beautiful tonight. It reminds me a lot of my youth, when Davin and I use to walk down to Curando's Point and lay on the rocks while watching the stars. We would stay awake for hours, laughing and talking. Sometimes Father would join us and Davin and I would listen intently while he told us stories about his days as a rookie pilot.  
  
I closed my eyes, turning my head upward a little. The wind whipped around me, it's touch gentle. I miss those days. Life was simple and carefree then. Most of all, I miss Davin and Cherith. I would give anything to have them back with us. To spare the girls and Mother the pain. Sometimes I wonder if my father compares me and my actions to Davin, to the accomplishments he achieved before his death. There are moments where I feel as if I am not living up to my own expectations, as if I'm stuck in my brother's shadows, even now in the wake of his death. I see the disappointment in my father's expression and I fear that I will never be able to find a way to erase that from his eyes.  
  
Somebody was standing next to me. I should have been more alert, more attentive to my surroundings for I did not like being caught in such moments of reverie. Opening my eyes, I was surprised to see Jaina Solo standing there. My breath caught in my throat and my heart skipped a beat. Even after spending several days in hyperspace and weary from the events she had been through recently, she still looked lovely.  
  
I wasn't in the mood for company, however. Perhaps her Jedi powers will tell her that and she'll leave me alone. I need to get some sort of focus before I go to sleep. I'll be leaving early to engage in a recon mission for my uncle. I can't allow anything else to distract me.  
  
And Jaina Solo was certainly a distraction.  
  
"I was going to check on my ship when I noticed you standing here. I didn't get the chance before, but I wanted to thank you for agreeing to fly under my command with Twin Suns. I know that couldn't have been an easy decision for you."  
  
Her voice was light but the wind seemed to carry it gently to my ears. Did I just say that? When did I start talking like I was some Chandrilan poet? I must be tired. Either that or I need a drink. I nice tall glass of Dodbri whiskey would be nice.  
  
Oh, I guess I should say something. I have too much on my mind. I shouldn't be rude.  
  
"I can take orders as well as I give them. I have no problem with the prospect of flying under your command. I think my uncle's plan is a very intriguing one. I look forward to assisting him in anyway I can."  
  
I turned my stare back to the stars. I'm not familiar with the constellations here. I wonder where Corellia is from here? I've never been there. It would be nice to visit there some day. To see where my parents came from.  
  
"I'm sure that whatever Wedge has in mind for our neighbours on Pyria VI is going to infuriate them royally. I'm glad that we can be a part of it."  
  
"Hmm." You know what I'd really like to do? Fly with my father someday. I think that would be the best thing ever. I would love to see him in action, to have him see me in my element.  
  
"Hmm? That's all you have to say ?"  
  
I nodded slowly. Then it dawned on me, Jaina was still here. How terribly rude of me. I got lost in my thoughts again. I seem to be doing that a lot lately.  
  
"Is everything okay?"  
  
"I was thinking about how my father will react once he learns of my presence here." I turned to face her. I don't know why but I suddenly felt compelled to talk to her about my father. Maybe it was because I was so rude just now, not acknowledging her presence. I'm embarrassed that I did that. I'm not usually so preoccupied with my thoughts.  
  
"What's this? Colonel Fel is afraid of angering his father?"  
  
"No. I'm afraid of losing his respect."  
  
Wait a moment! Wait one moment! Did I just say that? I felt the blush hit my cheeks the moment those words slipped from me. What was wrong with me? All of sudden, I feel like I have no control over my behaviour. First I ignore Jaina then I tell her something that I didn't want anyone to know! Oh, I need a drink....  
  
"I can't believe I said that outloud."  
  
Jaina grinned and even under the dimness from the lights here at the landing grid, I could see the sweetness of her gesture. She was amused by my actions. Great. I'm making a wonderful impression on her. Was it common for men to make fools of themselves? If so, then I think I better quit while I'm ahead.  
  
"I'm sure your father will be proud of you for making a stand here. I can't imagine why you would lose his respect when all you're doing is help fight against the Vong."  
  
Nodding slowly, this time I thought about what I was going to say. "My father and the Chiss parliament are unwilling to make any commitments to the war until they know more about the enemy. I'm suppose to be gathering tactical information, and I don't think my father will see my proactive stance here as a reconnaissance mission. It's complicated."  
  
"I doubt it's as complicated as you make it out to be." She smiled encouragingly, her eyes locked on mine. I wonder if anyone has every told how beautiful her eyes were. I swear I could lose myself in them.  
  
"I'm the only son he has left. You have no idea how much of a burden that is."  
  
If my jaw had dropped any further, I would have tripped over it. Twice. Why am I saying these things? That's it. I hate this. From now on I'm looking in the opposite direction when Jaina's around me. I lose all sense of thought and I sound like a damned monkey-lizard.  
  
Fortunately, I was saved by a Jedi Master as Luke Skywalker approached, interrupted our discussion. Skywalker stopped in front of us and I fortunately had the good sense to regain my composure. I bowed to the Jedi Master, a formal greeting if I ever had a need for one right now. At least for a few seconds, with my head down, I didn't have to look at Jaina.  
  
"I didn't get the chance earlier to welcome you to Borleias. It's good to see you, Jaina." He wrapped his niece in a tight hug and I was more than happy to see Jaina blush and squirm. Now she knows how I felt...  
  
"It's good to see you, Uncle Luke. How did you know I was here?"  
  
"I didn't. We'll have time to talk later." Luke smiled then turned to me. "I came to see Colonel Fel."  
  
"Oh." Jaina sighed, rejected.  
  
"It will only take a moment, then I'll leave the two of you alone."  
  
Good! Jaina blushed again. Now we were even!  
  
Geez, that sounds childish. I need to get some sleep.  
  
"I just wanted to say how impressed I was with the way you conducted yourself in Wedge's office. If I didn't know better, I would think that there was a bit of politician in your blood."  
  
"I hope not. I couldn't get my point across like that on a daily basis. I'd go insane."  
  
Luke chuckled. "I agree. That's why I leave the diplomacy to my sister." He paused, shoving one hand in his pants pocket. "I thought I'd stop by now, since I probably won't see you tomorrow before you leave. May the Force be with you, Colonel. Be safe out there."  
  
He extended his hand to me and I shook it firmly. "Thank you, sir. I will." It was nice of him to come by and wish me well.  
  
Jaina, on the other hand, looked as if she had just been told to keep her hands out of the candy dish.  
  
"Wait a second. Don't tell me that you're returning to the Unknown Regions? Is this because you don't want to face daddy's wrath? You committed yourself to Twin Suns and now you're abandoning us? How can you do that? I thought---"  
  
Damn, she's cute when she's angry. I had to force a smile from my face.  
  
Master Skywalker spoke before I did. "Colonel Fel is not returning to the Unknown Regions. He is taking part in a reconnaissance mission to the Kesna Sector, and will be gone for three days. He will be returning in time to assist your squadron, Jaina."  
  
"Sorry." She blushed again. Chalk another one up for the Chiss commander!  
  
I maintained my usual decorum and spoke in the tone of voice I knew annoyed her. "It was easy to assume that I was heading back to the Unknown Regions, considering our brief conversation. No need to apologize."  
  
A look passed between her and her uncle, one that I couldn't decipher. It made me nervous.  
  
"So, who's all going with you to Kesna?"  
  
"I'm going alone."  
  
That answer didn't have the expected result. Given our tumultuous relationship as of late, I assumed that she would be happy to get rid of me for a while.  
  
I was wrong.  
  
"What? Are you crazy?"  
  
Okay, I didn't like that. I turned to her, gave her my best icy stare. It worked for she flinched under my stare. "I think we've just concluded that if I were crazy, I'd be a politician. I have been on a number of solo recon operations and I know what to look for, how to gather critical data in a swift, effective way. I don't need any assistance."  
  
"Isn't Kesna near Coruscant?" she turned back to her uncle.  
  
Luke nodded. "Yes, Kesna is near the Sesswenna Sector. We haven't had a scout there in six months and it's important that we find out if the Yuuzhan Vong are there, or have been there."  
  
"So, you're sending one flyer in to do the recon? That's ridiculous! What if the Vong are there? You have no idea what to expect." She turned back to me, folding her arms across her chest. "And just how are going to survey an entire sector in three days?"  
  
Have I mentioned how pretty she is when she's angry?  
  
"Colonel Fel and Wedge have come to a mutual agreement regarding this assignment. If you want the particulars, you'll need to discuss them with the colonel, here, or talk to Wedge."  
  
"I'm going with you."  
  
This was not what I wanted. What was she trying to prove? I tried to keep my expression impassive. This was the most stubborn woman I've ever met. Must be Solo genes.  
  
"No, you are not."  
  
"Yes, I am. The Rogues always travel with a few recon X-Wings. I'll take one of those."  
  
"I don't need any assistance."  
  
"Fine. I won't assist you then. I'll do my own scouting."  
  
"That's ridiculous---"  
  
"Isn't that what you're doing?"  
  
Did I say stubborn? I think annoying is more appropriate.  
  
"That's different--"  
  
"How?"  
  
"You have responsibilities to Twin Suns. You need to stay here."  
  
"You have a responsibility to them as well---"  
  
"You're the commanding officer---"  
  
"Kyp can take over while I'm away---"  
  
"---and your family needs you."  
  
"What do you mean by that?"  
  
Oh boy. I think I hit a nerve. And what am I doing anyway? Arguing with her about my mission? I better think carefully before I react. "Jaina, your family has suffered terrible losses. You've only been on Borleias for a few hours and now you want to leave again. Your immediate family is here; you need to spend time with them, to grieve---"  
  
"Don't tell me what to do!"  
  
If her words were poisonous, I'd be infected by now. I really made her angry. I never intended to do that.  
  
Why am I here again?  
  
"I am not telling you what to do. I am simply stating--"  
  
She thrust a finger at me and I was suddenly very thankful that she was unarmed. "No! You're dictating and no one tells me how to run my life! Don't you dare try to tell me what I should think, what I should feel---Why are you looking at us like that?!"  
  
I followed that queue and turned to Master Skywalker. He was looking at us in the strangest way. A combination of surprise and amusement. I don't believe he heard a single word we said.  
  
Jaina leaned over and poked her uncle. "I'm sorry. Did you say something?"  
  
"I asked why you were looking at us like that. That's the stupidest grin I've ever seen."  
  
Surprisingly, Luke laughed. "I was listening to the two of you and I was reminded of when Han and Leia first met."  
  
He what? What did he just say? That Jaina and I remind him of Leia Organa Solo and Han Solo? Surely we don't sound like that, do we? I was so stunned, I couldn't move. I couldn't think! I did happen to catch a glimpse of Jaina out of the corner of my eye and she looked just as shell-shocked as I imagine I did.  
  
Did Master Skywalker really think that Jaina and I were going to be the next Leia and Han? Did he have one of those Jedi visions?  
  
I need to get away from these Force-users. This stuff freaks me out.  
  
I cleared my throat and turned to Jaina. She still looked mortified. ""I leave at oh-eight-hundred. Not a second later."  
  
"I'll be here." she didn't meet me gaze. Probably because she suddenly found herself in the middle of my recon mission. Serves her right for arguing with me.  
  
"Fine."  
  
"Fine."  
  
I bowed to Master Skywalker and took my leave, heading toward the barracks. I can't believe I let her do this to me! I allowed her to manipulate her way into coming along with me. Great. Just what I wanted.  
  
Women.  
  
I need a drink. 


	2. Heavenly Body

***HEAVENLY BODY***  
  
  
  
DROGNAN  
  
LATE MORNING, DAY 2  
  
  
  
I use to think that my father was the most difficult person to understand. That, even through the guidance I find through the Force, there are still moments where I am left wondering what he is thinking and feeling.  
  
Then I met Jag.  
  
I'm getting better at figuring him out, though, even if he isn't aware of it. He may think he has all of his emotions guarded but have I got news for him! I have learned more about him in the last sixteen hours than I ever dreamed I would. It hasn't been through words, though. It has been through actions. It has been through the subtle glances in my direction that I see out of the corner of my eye. It has been through the Force.  
  
Through his actions, I have learned that he is a compassionate man. He rescued me from the frozen lake outside this house and set to work making the conditions here suitable for us. He tended to my broken ribs with such gentleness and empathy that I could almost believe he had a gift for healing. That he was in fact a medic and not a pilot.  
  
Do you know that he carried me from the lake to this place in the midst of that snowstorm outside? I know that most people would have done the same thing, however it somehow means much more to me knowing that Jag went to extraordinary measures to see to my safety.  
  
Through his eyes, I see all the emotions that he cannot express with words. His upbringing was vastly different from mine and the way we look at things happening around us is interesting from the other's points of view. His eyes are the most beautiful green colour, a shade that is not quite pale and not truly vibrant. Sometimes it seems like he sees everything that is going on around him. However, it's his feelings that are captured there. Concern. Amusement. Determination. Affection.  
  
Through the Force, I sense everything he most likely wishes me not to know. At least, not now. His presence is very strong, much like my dad and Wedge. I don't know how it happened but on Hapes a bond between us grew. Well, I guess I know part of the reason for that. It was there that I realized that I loved him.  
  
And this morning, he realized he loved me too.  
  
When I woke up earlier this morning, he was standing over at the window, looking out at the storm. It's pretty bad out there and we're going to be stranded on Drognan until it subsides. Not that I mind, of course. I enjoyed falling asleep in Jag's arms last night. I could get use to that very easily.  
  
Although I was still sore from the crash and groggy from sleep and the anesthetic Jag had given me to help ease the pain of my broken ribs, I was able to touch lightly on his thoughts. He was confused and uncertain about our relationship. I guess that's kind of my fault; I certainly didn't treat him that great on Hapes. I frustrated him. I angered him. I drove him crazy a good deal of the time. Yet, after all that, he still showed me kindness and respect.  
  
Somewhere in the haze of all his thoughts he knew he was falling in love with me. When I sensed that, I wanted to jump up and scream "I love you, too!". I would have if it wasn't for the fact that my side hurt terribly. And, also the knowledge that Jag wasn't ready to hear it. He was just discovering his feelings for me. I didn't want to scare him. I would gladly wait for him to admit it to himself first before I tell him I feel the same way.  
  
I can't deny how I feel about him, though, and I'm not going to pretend that it doesn't exist while he sorts out his feelings. I'll do little things to let him know that I care. We talked for a little bit this morning and he told me the story about how he got the scar on his forehead. He FELL out of his ship! Can you believe that? I wanted to laugh so hard when he told me that but two things stopped me. The first was the embarrassment he still felt about that incident and the second was I was too busy losing myself in the sweet stare of his eyes.  
  
I fell back to sleep again while he went to explore this place for provisions. I hope he finds some food. I'm famished. He's still not back yet but I can feel his presence. He's nearby. Perhaps I'll go and help him. I may not be able to carry anything heavy and Jag will most likely tell me to go back to bed when he sees me, but I can't let him do everything by himself. I can at least carry pillows or some blankets. Even a candle! Anything so that I don't feel totally useless here.  
  
Getting up was a struggle and after what seemed like forever, I managed to stand on my feet.  
  
Ow! My ribs are killing me. I'll have to use a healing technique to squelch that. Maybe I'll lose myself in the Force first and rid myself of the pain before I go to Jag.  
  
Wait a second. What I am I saying? After having Jag administer to my injury last night, his hands so gentle while he wrapped the binding around me, why would I want to go back to a healing trance? His fingers on my skin is enough to ease any pain I might have. Perhaps I should fake some more injuries...  
  
I feel a little light-headed but that will pass. I glanced around the room, noticing for the first time the place that Jag had brought me to. A dining hall, and a big one at that. One of the windows was missing its curtains and I could see from where I was standing the snow piling up against the outside of the house. I could hear the wind hitting the glass. It was almost hypnotic, like an enchanting melody.  
  
The shirt that Jag had given me to wear fell to just above my knees. The fire in the room gave a little warmth but my legs were still cold. The shirt hung on me rather loosely. Not that I mind that, either. There was a deep, musky male scent on the material. And no, it wasn't laundry soap. It was Jag's scent. I closed my eyes and inhaled the essence of him. I don't ever want his scent to wash off me. That way, when we're not together, he's still with me.  
  
Does that make sense? Probably not. I'm still feeling the effects of the anethestic.  
  
I had to walk slow because my legs were still a little wobbly and my head throbbed a little. I'm lucky I didn't suffer worse injuries when I crashed. The stone floor was chilled beneath my feet. As I neared the double doors I noticed that next to a chest against the wall our clothes were heaped into a little puddle of fabric on the floor. I grinned as I looked at the mesh of Imperial and Rebel colours and wondered why it seemed natural to me to see Jag's clothes mixed in with mine.  
  
The door creaked as I opened it, an action I almost regretted. It was very cold out in the hallway. I stepped out of the dining hall and took a quick survey of my surroundings. The main doors were closed yet there was a small pile of water near the base of the door on the left. The stairs before me curved upward to places unseen and along the walls there were tapestries, battered and faded, of sunsets, landscapes, and children playing. I wonder if they were the children who lived in this old home?  
  
Turning down the hallway, I walked slowly, my thoughts lingering on this structure. I wonder where the owners are. Was the minefield I wandered into indeed put there during a blockade? Were these people forced to leave their homes? Did they ever intend to come back? What were they like? Were they happy here?  
  
I came to the narrow room on the left of the hallway and smiled when I sensed Jag's presence. He was in there, his attention focused on something unknown to me. He was relaxed. I'm glad of that, you know. I was beginning to worry about him since he didn't sleep much last night. And he's limping. I hope he didn't hurt himself while landing and is trying to keep it from me. It would be just like him to not tell me in order to keep me focused on my own recovery. The door was open to the room and I turned to face it, prepared to greet him...  
  
Have you ever experienced a moment where you feel as if you are frozen in time? As if everything is happening in slow motion around you and you cannot move, that all you can do is stand there in silent fascination?  
  
I do believe I'm experiencing one of those moments right now.  
  
Jag was facing away from me, standing in front of a small sink. He was naked from the waist up, his upper body exposed in all its male beauty. The black shirt he had been wearing was hanging on the doorknob, his black pants fitting him like a second skin. Water was running from one of the faucets. He had soap in his hands and after he lathered it up, he stretched out his right arm and ran the wet bar of soap over his skin. The soapy water trickled down over his arm, dripping lightly onto the floor.  
  
I never thought washing could be so damned sexy.  
  
He didn't know I was here, watching him like some love-struck fool. Oh, if he turned around now I would die! I know I shouldn't be staring, but really, can you blame me? This man is so handsome and the thing is, he isn't even aware of it!  
  
I tilted my head, following every movement he made, studying every part of him. The curve of his shoulders. The contour of muscle when he flexed his arms again while dampening the soap. The fine lines of his back as he stood straight and continued to clean himself, totally oblivious to my presence.  
  
Jag set the soap down on the side of the sink then leaned forward a little. Placing both hands under the running water, he splashed water on his face then ran his wet fingers back through his hair. Droplets of water trickled down his back, coming to rest at the waist of his pants.  
  
Oh, I better leave now before I tackle him!  
  
It was a difficult task but I managed to pull my gaze and the rest of me from that spot. How was I going to be able to endure being stranded here with him? Not only was he drop-dead gorgeous but he LOVED me! Anything was possible now.  
  
One thing's for sure, though. Our stay here on Drognan was going to be interesting. 


End file.
